"BITS OF ALSORTS"

WELL THE PLUMBER HE TURNED UP YESTERDAY FOLKS AND WASN'T I THANKFUL FOR THAT.

SOON HE HAD ME SOME WATER RUNNING FROM BOTH MY HOT AND COLD TAPS.

MY BONES THEY WERE EVER SO WEARY AND MY BACK WAS KILLING ME.

LIFTING HEAVY CONTAINERS AND BUCKETS WHEN I HAD TO PEE. HE-HE .

WELL I HAD TO KEEP THE TOILET FLUSHING AND WHAT A FLIPPING CHORE.

I THOUGHT I WAS BACK IN VICTORIAN TIMES I DON'T WANT THAT NO MORE.

THE PROBLEM WAS THE BALLCOCK IN THE COLD TANK IN THE LOFT.

SO HE REPLACED IT QUICKLY THEN HE PUT ME A NEW TAP TO STOP.

THE COLD WATER SYSTEM WORKING SHOULD IT HAPPEN AGAIN.

I'M HOPING NOT COS THIS WEEKEND HAS BEEN A NIGHTMARE A PAIN.

FILLING UP THE KETTLE WITH LARGE BOTTLES BOUGHT BY ME.

FROM THE SUPERMARKET AS I WON'T PESTER MY NEIGHBOUR YOU SEE.

WELL I THOUGHT IT WAS MUCH EASIER FOR ME HAVING TO LIFT THE WEIGHT.

THAN HAVING TO CARRY CONTAINERS RIGHT ROUND TO MY NEIGHBOURS GATE.

THEN I WOULD HAVE HAD TO CARRY IT QUITE A WAY BACK ROUND.

SO BUYING FROM THE SUPERMARKET AND ON HAND WAS EASIER I FOUND.

MY BREAK AT ROOSTERS WENT VERY WELL BUT WE DIDN'T GET VERY FAR.

HAVING SAID THAT WE DID GET OUT AND CHOSE A NICE NEW CAR.

WE HAD BEEN GOING TO CHANGE THE OTHER A WHILE SO WE FINALLY MADE IT THIS WEEK.

A LOVELY FOUR YEAR OLD ASTRA BRIGHT RED WITH SOFT PLUSH COMFY SEATS.

ROOSTER LIKES THE ASTRA HE HAS ALWAYS HAD THEM.

HE'S HAD VERY LITTLE PROBLEMS WITH OTHERS SO HE GOT ONE AGEN.

ANOTHER FEW QUID FROM THE BANK BOOK WE WILL NEVER HAVE OWT HE-HE.

AS THEY SAY IN SLANG YORKSHIRE BUT WE ARE HAPPY SO DON'T WOORY NOW ABOUT OWT.

I WENT OUT WHILST ROOSTER WAS AT WORK AND BOOKED US ANOTHER BREAK.

IN JUNE FOR THE PAIR OF US TO GO UP NORTHUMBERLAND ROOSTER WILL TAKE.

ME THERE IT'S SOMEWHERE WE'VE NEVER BEEN AND I FANCY ONE OR TWO SPOTS.

I WANT TO VISIT ENGLANDS LARGEST MALL UP THAT THEYV'E GOT.

A VISIT TO BEAMISH IS ON THE CARDS TOO FOR OLD FASHIONED MOTHERHEN.

THE VICTORIAN VILLAGE SO I'LL BE GOING BACK IN TIME ONCE AGEN HE-HE.

LOTS OF WONDERFUL CASTLES THAT WAY AND A CHANCE TO TRY OUT THE CAR.

I HOPE IT'S READY FOR A GOOD RUN COS I HAVE PLANNED TO GO FAR . HE-HE.

GOOD GRIEF THE ROOSTER WILL BE CHUNTERING SAYING WHEN CAN I STOP.

I'LL REPLY WHEN THERES NO TREAD LEFT ON THESE TYRES THIS CARS GOT... HEEEE

THEN I WENT TO PRIORY CHURCH ON WEDNESDAY TO PRAY FOR YOU ALL BUT INSIDE.

SORRY I COULDN'T TAKE ANY PICTURES MY BATTERY IT HAD DIED.

TRUST ME TO FORGET TO CHARGE THEM UP NOT TO WORRY I TOOK A FEW.

HERE WHEN I WALKED THE PROM ONE DAY FEEDING THE GULLS FOR YOU.

HERE YOU CAN SEE THE SUN SHINING ON TUESDAY IT WAS LIKE SPRING.

THOUGH STILL IT DIDN'T ENTICE ANY VISITORS NO IT DIDN'T BRING.

THEM OUT TO THE SEASIDE BUT I ENJOYED THE WALK TAKING THESE SNAPS.

MA GRAN HERES ONE FOR YOU DEAR OF THE BEACH YOU LOVE PERHAPS.

WE WILL ALL BE VISTING SOON FRIENDS THE MONTHS ARE PASSING QUICK.

A LITTLE SUNSHINE AND SPRING ROUND THE CORNER I KNOW WILL DO THE TRICK.

THE GULLS THEY WERE READY AND WAITING GOBBLING EVERY PIECE .

IN FACT THEY CAME SO CLOSE UP I THINK THEY WERE MISSING THE GREASE.

FROM THE FISH AND CHIPS THE TOURISTS BUY TREATS THEY GET FROM THEM.

AH WELL THEY GOT SOME NICE BREAD AND BUTTER FROM THIS OLD MOTHERHEN.

BEGGARS CARN'T BE CHOOSERS CAN THEY SO THE SAYING GOES.

SO YOU'LL MAKE DO WITH THIS I THOUGHT TO MYSELF WHEN YOU'LL GET FISH AND CHIPS WHO KNOWS.

I BAGGED A FEW BARGAINS WHILST THERE AS WELL BOUGHT MYSELF A FEW BITS.

I ALSO GOT A LITTLE BIRDHOUSE FOR THE GARDEN FOR TITS.

I''LL SHOW YOU THAT WHEN THE SPRING COMES AND I HAVE GARDENED ONE DAY.

BECAUSE I FIND IT DIFFICULT STILL TO PUT PICTURES IN HERE NO WAY.

DO I KNOW AN EASY METHOD I'LL NEVER LEARN DON'T SUPPOSE.

IT'S A GOOD JOB I CAN STILL WORK THE FONT AND WRITE MY SILLY PROSE.

SO I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD VALENTINE DAY I GOT A SUPRIZE FROM SON.

HE SENT ME A MONEYGRAM FROM USA £200 DID COME .

WHOO-HOO HE IS THE FINEST SON AND ALSO FROM DAUGHTER WE TWO.

GOT TICKETS TO MANCHESTER TO SEE THE SHOW MY FAVOUTIRE "WE WILL ROCK YOU".

CHOCOLATES OTHER THINGS I WAS SO HAPPY AND GRATEFUL FOR ANY SMALL THING.

BUT WORDS ON THE CARDS "WE LOVE YOU" MUM AND DAD TO ME WAS THE BEST THING.

SO I'LL LEAVE YOU NOW WITH THE SUN HERE SHINING ON FLAMOROUGH HEAD.

ANOTHER I TOOK STROLLING ALONG SAME VEIW FROM OUR FLAT LIKE IV'E SAID.

AS I WAS WALKING FROM TOWN ON FRIDAY ANOTHER SUPRIZE I SAW.

A SILLY SNOWMAN SOMEONE HAD BUILT STILL SITTING THERE AFTER THE THAW.

WE JUST GOT ONE DAY OF SNOW AND THEN THE SUN CAME SHINING THROUGH.

I LAUGHED AND THOUGHT HE LOOKED SO FUNNY HERE HE IS JUST TO SHOW YOU.

SP ALL HAVE A LOVELY WEEK FRIENDS I'VE LOTS TO DO IN LITTLE TIME.

I KNOW I'LL GET ROUND TO YOU ALL WHEN I CAN LOVE FROM KATH AND

"MY SIMPLE RHYMES"