I HAD KEPT SAYING TO MY DAUGHTER IF ANYONE ASKS IT'S MINE.

OK SHE SAID I KNOW YOUR A JOKER MUM WHATEVER YOU SAY THATS FINE.

THEN A KNOCK CAME TO MY DOOR LAST WEEK AND A QUESTION I WAS ASKED.

EXUSE ME DEAR THIS GENTLEMAN SAID I SPOTTED YOUR CAR AS I PASSED.

I LOOKED AT HIM RATHER VAGUE AT FIRST THEN I STARTED TO SPIN MY TALE .

SO I SAID TO HIM YES IT'S MINE ALRIGHT BUT SORRY IT'S NOT FOR SALE.

SEE PARKED OUTSIDE MY HOUSE FRIENDS IS THIS LITTLE YELLOW MG.

THATS WHY I SAID TELL THEM IT'S MINE HE-HE -HE- HE- HE .

YES IT'S MY CLASSY MG MIDGET I SHOW IT FROM TIME TO TIME .

MY DAUGHTER WAS SAT IN THE DOORWAY GRINNING AS I SPUN MY LINE.

I CARRIED ON CHATTING FOR ENGLAND NOT A WORD COULD HE GET IN.

STILL MY DAUGHTER CONTINUED WITH A BIG WIDE CHEESY GRIN.

DAUGHTERS CAR WAS PARKED ON THE DRIVE AND I TOLD HIM MY SON WAS DUE..

SO I HAD TO PARK THE MG ON THE KERB SO PASSING TRAFFIC COULD GET THROUGH.

I RABBITED ON SAYING ALSORTS I THINK HE WAS TAKEN ABACK.

AT NOT BEING ABLE TO GET A WORD IN THIS SMART LOOKING QUIET CHAP. HE-HE.

WELL WHEN I CAME UP FOR BREATH FRIENDS AND HE GOT A CHANCE TO SPEAK.

OOOOH!!! WHAT A SHOCK I GOT WHEN HE SAID YOU HAVE A BAD PETROL LEAK. HE-HE.

LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF PC. MILLER GOING OUT FOR THE DAY.

DID YOU KNOW IT'S A TRAFFIC OFFENCE DEAR TO PARK ON THE KERB THIS WAY .

GOOD GRIEF I COULD HAVE FELL OVER MY DAUGHTER SHE RAISED A LOUD LAUGH.

SAID THATS JUST ABOUT MUMS LUCK PC MILLER NOW SHE'S NOT LAUGHING KATH.HE-HE.

SO I QUICKLY TOLD HIM I'M SORRY BUT WAS ONLY PLAYING A JOKE.

IT'S NOT MY VEHICLE AT ALL SIR IT BELONGS TO ANOTHER BLOKE. HE-HE

HE CALLS NEXT DOOR EVERY DAY TO HIS DAUGHTERS AND PARKS IT IN FRONT OF MY HOME.

BECAUSE IF HE PARKS IT IN FRONT OF THE OTHERS ALL THEY DO IS MOAN.

WELL I'D BETTER GO SEE YOUR NEIGHBOURS MADAM AS THIS IS QUITE A BAD LEAK.

IT NEED ATTENTION QUICKLY OR WE WILL HAVE TO REMOVE IT YOU SEE.

SO HE KNOCKED NEXT DOOR ME CALLING OUT I DON'T WANT TO HEAR A BANG.

AND SEE IT GO UP IN FLAMES SHOULD A CIG BUTT BE THROWN DOWN BY ANY GANGS.

BESIDES IV'E JUST CUT MY LAWN SIR AND I DON'T WANT IT ENDING UP SCORCHED HE-HE.

NO MORE THAN I WANT TO BE TOASTED ALIVE SAT HERE IN MY LITTLE FRONT PORCH.

WITH THIS HE GAVE ME HIS PERSONAL CARD AND SAID IF I NEEDED THEM.

I COULD RING THE NUMBER AND HE WOULD OBLIGE TO SORT THINGS FOR MOTHERHEN.

IT HAPPENED TO BE A GIFT FROM THE BLOKE TO HIS DAUGHTER NEXT DOOR HE-HE.

SHE HAD JUST PASSED HER TEST AND FILLED IT TOO MUCH NO CUT OUT OBVIOUSLY .

WITH BEING AN OLD CAR AND IT WAS SPILLING FROM THE PETROL CAP.

PC. MILLER TOLD US BOTH LATER HE WAS SUCHA NICE CHAP.

SHORTLY AFTER SHE CAME OUTSIDE AND WASHED IT AWAY DOWN THE STREET.

SOON EVERYTHING YES WAS BACK TO NORMAL THE ROAD LOOKING CLEAN AND NEAT.

SO HAPPY TO SAY I DIDN'T GET NICKED BUT I'LL THINK TWICE AGAIN NEXT TIME .

ABOUT HAVING A JOKE TELLING PC'S PORKIES LIKE HERE IN

"MY SIMPLE RHYME ".

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!